This Just In...Tea drinking causes brain loss

A new side effect of drinking tea in large groups of stupid, hateful people seems to be a contagious shared ignorance, hatred of logic and a tendency to treasonous behavior known as the "Tea Party Syndrome". It is akin to a long accepted syndrome known as "mob mentality" which occurs when groups of gutless people join together to commit acts that they don't have the nerve to do on their own. The act of tea consumption by large groups of people (known as "tea party rallies") seems to cause behaviors that these otherwise mild mannered, dull normal range citizens would never commit. Shouting racial epithets, cursing, spitting, and making poopie in their pants are some of the behaviors observed. When queried about the intent of their actions or the meaning of the seemingly pointless, misspelled placards they carry they reply "What don't I like? Well, all of it, the death panels, the sociableism, the free artificial insinuation for illegal immigrants, Obama puttin' his feet up on the desk, all of it. Who does Obama think he is?"

Responsible, patriotic Americans are advised to avoid these gatherings and to avoid engaging the participants in conversation as they may erupt in spittle which they apparently cannot control. The medical community is not sure yet exactly how this syndrome is transferred so no contact with the bodily fluids of these individuals is considered the best course. Also avoid media outlets featuring these same type individuals dressed up in suits and ties spouting the same nonsensical lies as there does seem to be a connection between this programming and the subsequent behavior. It is hoped that these obviously afflicted individuals will be eligible for treatment under the new health care bill as stupid, although a pre-existing condition, will be included in most companies coverage. Please, until then, give generously to your Democratic candidates for public office. Help us put an end to "Tea Party Syndrome" once and for all!